The Beast Called 2019

How MY sheros and I defeated beast called 2019

Looking back now, actually 2019 was a rough year. The beast called 2019, honestly thought it had me cornered from angel, I mean it attacked my mind, my heart, even tried to attack my soul. It left nothing unturned looking for a soft target, hoping I would give in, I mean tap out. 

It tried to get me to doubt my ability to live, to love and to give. It toyed with my mind, my heart and even my fininces. Actually, looking back now, I was never ready for the beast, on my own I could have never faced that beast. 

I compare the year to a beast, because that's is how brutal the year was. It actually felt personal. It constantly felt like I was fighting a losing battle, with every escape route blocked off and demolitioned. 

But looking back,. Through it all, my circle pulled through yazi, they never once complained about my complaining. They were ever ready to lend an ear, ever ready to laugh, cry and cuss with me.  Actually 2019, goes out to my squad, or my so called sheros. 

These ladies fought the beast with me, at times they fought on my behalf when I just didn't have the strength or the ability. They always saw through the Armour, saw right through the thick skin. Saw the fasad, they didn't see Miss King.

They saw Sibu, they saw her for what she is and what she was feeling, every time. 

If you are blessed to have such people in your life, you should be eternally grateful. Because believe me, not everyone has such people in their corner. I am talking about those people, who ask you how are you really doing and then from there remind you that you've got this, and that this too shall pass. 

This appreciation post goes out to Nontobeko Gcabashe , Nontobeko Zungu , Samukelisiwe Magubane and Mandisa Mthembu. Thank you ladies for being on my side, even on the days were I gave up on myself. Thank you for fixing my armor and reminding me that the battle was OURS to fight and win TOGETHER. 

It is them who defeated the beast called 2019, it didn't have a chance yazi. It was never READY for my squad, for my sheros. 

#mysquad, #freindship #appreciation 

Cheers to an Epic Chapter: The last Sunday!!!!

This is a video showing my last weekend in Durban.

I show case my love for the sea and for the city of Durban.

It captures my heart, and soul.

Yes I am ready for the next chapter, but will miss this place and appreciate the growth that happened during this time.

Cheers to an EPIC Chapter!!!

As Watched You Grow

As I watched you grow.
Somedays not only seeing you, but feeling you..
Denial, that bitch advised me that you would never amount to anything.
Denial told me that I was imagining you and were only a figment of my imagination.
That you were simply nothing to worry about.

To be honest I listened to denial because I was too scared to face the facts.
Yes I was scared.
My fear stemmed, from my lack of understanding and my ignorance.
The only thing I knew was that you were a gift  inherited from the Rents.
I was scared  because I felt that acknowledging you would mean I accepted you.

My heart skipped a beat, when the Dr said, you were 10cm wide and that the reason I saw you somedays was due to the fact that you were being a bullied by my bladder.

Your constant protrusion when I lay on my back, was you trying to get my attention.
You were trying to tell me that you don't belong there.
But no, instead of acknowledging that your arising above the surface was your way of saying shit ain't ohk.
I found it easier to ignore you.

On that day, the 29th of June 2020, denial packed its bags left me on my own to face the facts.
That I had felt you grow inside me, and I watched you grow month by month.
That I had done nothing.
On that day I made a new freind, called fear.

Fear brought a whole entourage of friends. Oh believe me they aren't friendly either. Will tell you about them someday.

For now, I am counting the days until I know and understand who and what you are and what you want me.

The journey of a young woman: Diagnosis, Fibroids.

By Miss King (18/07/2020) 

Winter You Horrible Being

Winter you horrible being. 

You bought with you this horrible sense of taking over everything that is bright and beautiful.

Taking away my once love and passion for this place. 

As the days grew shorter and nights grew longer, so dimed the sparkle in my eyes. 

You came like a black knight ready to slay everything and anything in his path. 

You were clear, take no prisoners and leave no soul alive. 

You left a trail of carnige, self distruction, self doubt and a shit load of self pity. 

Winter you horrible being. 

As I start my next chapter. 

I will carry amazing memories of the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. 

And the sun's beautiful smile as it did its happy dance across the horizon. 

And the stale sulphuric comforting smell of the ocean. 

Winter you horrible being. 

As the chapters become a book.

I will also remember, how your arrival ment it was time for my body to fight itself. 

How antihistamines became my loyal, and ever present best friends. 

You know what? 

It's ohk hey. It is ohk. 

Winter you horrible being. 

You may think you are in charge now, but don't forget...  

Your time is limited, it always is! 

Your days are numbered, they always are!

The days will grow longer, the nights will grow shorter and the sun's happy dance on the horizon will return!

Until then enjoy your victories and enjoy your rule! 

Winter You Horrible Being. 

By Miss Nkosi (18/07/2020)