Misfits Celebrating Women's Month: A Daughter of the Most High King and a Mother to Two Beautiful Boys

This was for me, believe it or not, a road down ‘self-discovery’ all over again. It felt like bumping into myself after such a long time. Well... I hope you enjoy reading my story just as much as I enjoyed jotting it down!!!

Let me begin with a warm introduction of Nolwazi Valentine Nkosi. Yes, that’s me! Nolwazi… A Daughter of the Most High King and a Mother to Two Beautiful Boys first, before anything. The Word of God is my foundation in Life and I raise my kids in the same light. I am the type of person you run to in search for sunshine… I emanate joy, smiles and laughter for every single person I come across on any given day. I hope you can already gather that, I’m a huge fan of Flowers and Sunflowers being my favorite. They bring me so much joy. Finally Nolwazi is in general a very peaceful person, I respect and appreciate Peace, mines and that of others. So… now that we have broken the ice, lets get to the nitty gritty part of it. 

Where is the last place I would ever go? This one is very tricky because I want to experience going everywhere in the world. However, I cannot bear feeling cold. Russia might just be the last place I would ever go to because of their climate. They have cold winters and very short summers. They get strong winds that bring freezing cold temperatures and snowstorms, I wouldn’t survive that at all. 

What are you completely over and done with? I am completely over and done with associating myself with people and matters that are not compatible with my vision in life. Yes, I definitely am a person who focuses on the good more than the bad but also, I don’t invest in negative energy and distractions. For me growth is important, I think we should all be focusing on the betterment of ourselves, supporting and cheering one another rather than directing all of our energy towards bickering and shaming. Besides that, as I mentioned earlier I have two sons, trust me you need to preserve as much energy as possible to match theirs.   Therefore, if your thoughts and beliefs are against, I respect that, wish you well and I walk in the opposite direction.  experience has to be; to value Life more than I ever have before. Life itself is worth so much more than all the material things we want so badly in this world. Personally this experience forced me to be extra patient with myself. It’s true that; slow is the new fast. I am at a point in life where I am desperate for the stars to just align, and COVID 19 came with a lot of setbacks, but I realized fussing over slow progress will do more harm than good. I believe everything will eventually fall into place for all of us and all at the right time. When it comes to friendships, I learnt not to take time for granted. It’s been close to two years now that I haven’t spent quality time with any of my friends. I guess I have been in my own zone, I took a decision to withdraw myself from the world, if I may say, as a way to focus more on the things I want to achieve. I kept postponing that part of life and forgot that life is for us to enjoy, not perfect. And after I had left everything for a ‘later stage’, in came Lockdown and COVID 19 with the new Normal. Travelling, a night out or a picnic with friends cannot happen as comfortably as it did before. There is now so much to consider before doing everything we loved. The same goes for family, time does not wait for us. it is very important that we don’t postpone forgiveness and take for granted the importance of preserving Family Bonds. 

If I could talk to my 16 year old self about being in my 20s I would say stick to your plan my Darling!!!!! At 16, you now pretty much have an idea of what you would like your future to be like. Say No as much as possible to distractions that will tamper with this idea and just always want the best for yourself.  Many of the consequences I am dealing with today are a result of the many ‘exceptions’ I made along the way. You must find the courage to say no to the things and people that are not serving you if you want to build yourself and live your life with authenticity. My expectations of 20s were nothing close to what they are, according to my Grade 10 collage, I am now referred to as Dr. Nolwazi Valentine Nkosi not ‘Miss’, I live in my mansion house with cars all over my beautiful  yard, each car for a different mood. I am a very wealthy young lady who swipes her credit card as and when she pleases. The list goes on, but my point here is that firstly, there is nothing wrong with having big dreams but you need to accompany them with a plan of action. Which career are you going to pursue and/or study towards, is it relevant to today’s times, are you sure you have a passion for it? Do you know of anyone in this profession who can guide you? once you have planned, submit your plans to God. Secondly, things will not always go according to plan. That is not the end of the road, refer back to your drawing board, correct the mistake, learn the lesson and keep the ball rolling, keep moving towards your goals. Constantly seek for clarification from God about everything, then you are certain to move in the right direction. I am not saying that your quest should be to be perfect, but it should be securing the best you want for yourself with the understanding that you are worthy and deserving of it all.  

Its funny how I’ve always wanted an opportunity like this one, to send a global message to all young South African women, only that I imagined I would be standing in front of them as a well-established young billionaire, guiding them on how they can also get there. But I believe God is saying, this is the first part of that journey and you already have a story to tell. My message to young women is to always be confident in yourself and courageous in everything you put your mind to. Believe you deserve to be successful and want it. There is no more beautiful sight than a young woman who glows with the light of the spirit, who is brave and authentic. Having a strong belief system is important because this is where your values stem from, where you can seek clarification, plead for protection, refuel your strength and seek guidance when you go astray. I say this because the intentions of the people close to you will change every day. You cannot trust them with your life. So you must have that kind of Foundation you can rely on.  Do away with comparing yourself, stay in your lane, run your own race and at your own pace. That way you can be kind to and patient with yourself. My biggest wish is for us to strive for independence.  "If you trade your independence as a woman for safety you are at a risk of experiencing inexplicable grief, depression, anxiety, rage, blame and resentment. More to that and considering the times we live in today, where there is a rising number of young mothers, I want to also selectively share a message to them, that being a young mother is not about what you gave up to have a child or about all the sacrifices you have to make, it should be about what you have gained. You have brought a precious human being into the world, that alone is a superpower, you now need to show up and own up for him. I personally gained genuine and lasting happiness coupled with purpose. I am hungry to succeed and build a legacy now more than ever. The gift of being trusted to love and nurture another human being is another kind of special. In the same token, my advice to all young women, from my experience as a young mother is; plan the decision of having a child thoroughly beforehand. You must be ready emotionally and most importantly, financially. 

With that being said, to aim for success is, I reiterate, very important but make sure not to miss the point of this whole process, that is to make out the most of this life you’ve been Graciously gifted with. Smile often, laugh a lot, dance, travel, bake, cook, swim, sing, be healthy and just enjoy being alive.