Misfits Celebrating Women's Month - A Person Who Respects Others, Mother of Humility

So here goes as promised, our first feature  of this women's month celebration is this amazing young woman. 

I am Nontobeko Ziyanda Zungu. My first name means a person who respects other, mother of humility and my second name means “in abundance” or “More of”. My names started the journey of shaping into the person I am. I am an introvert that has so much love and humility and will always go the extra mile for the ones I love and care for. To the world I am a Picasso painting, only a few get to see the beauty of the painting for what it is. I am a believer in God. I simply am because of Him everyday of my life. 

The last place I would ever go? 

I don’t have a place like that yet. 

What am I completely over and done with?

I no longer care for what people think of me. I don’t have the ‘Abantu bazothini Syndrome’ because this sets you back and you end up not doing half the things you wanted to do.

What lesson lesson has 2020, lockdown and the COVID-19 pandemic has taught you about the following: Yourself, Friends, Family and life? 

2020 taught me about loss and that recovering from loss is hard when you don’t give yourself time to grieve and cry to clear out your soul so that you are able to live with it. The Lockdown SAVED me otherwise depression was going to be my new home. What I learnt about my circle of friends is that they are a blessing and they are blessed. I’m not saying they have it easy, heck no but they know who to lean on to bounce back. God is their centre. With my family 2020 has taught me that we laugh all the time even in sadness and that’s what keeps us going. In life 2020 and the pandemic has taught me that you must live and be grateful for what you have, appreciate the ones that love you and keep it moving. Take time for yourself as you cannot pour from an empty cup. You are important it doesn’t make you selfish but selfless as you will be able to give more and be there more for others. 

If I could talk to my 16 year old self what would I say to her about being in my 30s/20s. What did I expect vs the reality?

Sweetheart, do not expect the world to shift for you. I expected to be this great person psychologist and that I would be great. I expected that my life would be better since I have been through the most already but no honey, life will humble you still because clearly you did not learn your lessons before with not having a home. Reality is that you must shift the world to suit you and that you should always focus and don’t let anyone distract from what you want to achieve. Lastly don’t forget God in whatever you decide to do. Kodwa all in all what you will go through will shape you into this awesome being that you are right now and you will meet your circle of friends. You will learn so much about yourself and you will go insane for a period of time. Just know that you will be okay though so 16 year old me brace yourself for what’s to come. Learn how to run your finances and to make more because that will be your biggest down fall. 

To all women: it is okay not to follow societal rules on who you are suppose to be if they do not sync with who you really are. This pandemic hit us hard and my advice to you would be to take care of your mental health by talking to a therapist or take time out and meditate in the word of God. Switch off your phone for 2 hours and have you time. Honestly I don’t know what makes your heart happy but do that so you can be sane for yourself and others. 

Misfits Celebrating Women's Month

So this women's month I Sibu Nkosi AKA Miss King will profile some amazing young women. First thing to note, they don't conform. I mean, none of them actually conform. I mean forget cookie cutter for these ladies. These ladies are unique... They just wear their crowns differently!! Hence the the choice in calling them Misfits. Normal is really boring, like it's soo over done.

So, let me get to it. These ladies where asked to introduce themselves and respond to 5 questions (see below picture with the questions). They will choose whether to do a video responding to the questions or to do a narrative response.

So to set the tone, I thought it would be fit for me to do one also. My video will be the first to go up next week Monday and followed by a different  post each day of next week. So watch this space.

Super excited to share their stories with you.

“Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words could become a page in someone else’s survival guide.” — Morgan Harper Nichols

The key to a women's heart is written in her playlist. - So here is the key to my heart

So this week I am going to doing something different. I am doing a music review one of my favorite Playlists.

We all get asked the question, what music do you listen to? 

Me... I listen to everything, it honestly depends on the mood. And yes I listen to EVERYTHING. And honestly who needs to conform and why only listen to one typa of music.. For the why nje?

Anyways, in my anxiety around my moving from Durban and this next chapter and stuff. I listened to this playlist almost everyday for the last month. 

This list is a serious mix of old and new songs. And different genres of music. It goes from Kanye, the Weekend, to Mlindo, to Sam Smith and the Ritual.. Serious hey, it's a mix!!

I named my Playlist "Pick Me Up", and starred it last year. I play it when I need a pick me, hence the name 😉😋. It currently has about 72 songs. 

Here is my top 10 on the list in no particular order:
Ohhk, but one of my current favorites has to be Joi for sure!!
1. Joji - Slow Dancing in Dark. 88rising (like everything about it, and the music video is so morbid, and I just love it).I
2. Joji - will he (medasin remix)  88rising
3. Curious - Rich Brian
4. Redbone - Childish Gambino
5. Cigarette Daydreams, - Anna Rouse
6. Live Like You're Love - Hawk Nelson
7. Boondigga - Fat Freddy's Drop
8. Come Down - Anderson Paak
9. Better by now - Ritual
10. Pretty Little Fears- 6lack featJ. Cole.

You can access my list here: Here is the link. 

Please share the links to your Playlist, or share your top 10 songs and I will create a Playlist in your name.... Looking forward to your list.

"let life be a playlist of songs chosen by you and not by shuffle." Mayank Roy

The Beast Called 2019

How MY sheros and I defeated beast called 2019

Looking back now, actually 2019 was a rough year. The beast called 2019, honestly thought it had me cornered from angel, I mean it attacked my mind, my heart, even tried to attack my soul. It left nothing unturned looking for a soft target, hoping I would give in, I mean tap out. 

It tried to get me to doubt my ability to live, to love and to give. It toyed with my mind, my heart and even my fininces. Actually, looking back now, I was never ready for the beast, on my own I could have never faced that beast. 

I compare the year to a beast, because that's is how brutal the year was. It actually felt personal. It constantly felt like I was fighting a losing battle, with every escape route blocked off and demolitioned. 

But looking back,. Through it all, my circle pulled through yazi, they never once complained about my complaining. They were ever ready to lend an ear, ever ready to laugh, cry and cuss with me.  Actually 2019, goes out to my squad, or my so called sheros. 

These ladies fought the beast with me, at times they fought on my behalf when I just didn't have the strength or the ability. They always saw through the Armour, saw right through the thick skin. Saw the fasad, they didn't see Miss King.

They saw Sibu, they saw her for what she is and what she was feeling, every time. 

If you are blessed to have such people in your life, you should be eternally grateful. Because believe me, not everyone has such people in their corner. I am talking about those people, who ask you how are you really doing and then from there remind you that you've got this, and that this too shall pass. 

This appreciation post goes out to Nontobeko Gcabashe , Nontobeko Zungu , Samukelisiwe Magubane and Mandisa Mthembu. Thank you ladies for being on my side, even on the days were I gave up on myself. Thank you for fixing my armor and reminding me that the battle was OURS to fight and win TOGETHER. 

It is them who defeated the beast called 2019, it didn't have a chance yazi. It was never READY for my squad, for my sheros. 

#mysquad, #freindship #appreciation 

Cheers to an Epic Chapter: The last Sunday!!!!

This is a video showing my last weekend in Durban.

I show case my love for the sea and for the city of Durban.

It captures my heart, and soul.

Yes I am ready for the next chapter, but will miss this place and appreciate the growth that happened during this time.

Cheers to an EPIC Chapter!!!

As Watched You Grow

As I watched you grow.
Somedays not only seeing you, but feeling you..
Denial, that bitch advised me that you would never amount to anything.
Denial told me that I was imagining you and were only a figment of my imagination.
That you were simply nothing to worry about.

To be honest I listened to denial because I was too scared to face the facts.
Yes I was scared.
My fear stemmed, from my lack of understanding and my ignorance.
The only thing I knew was that you were a gift  inherited from the Rents.
I was scared  because I felt that acknowledging you would mean I accepted you.

My heart skipped a beat, when the Dr said, you were 10cm wide and that the reason I saw you somedays was due to the fact that you were being a bullied by my bladder.

Your constant protrusion when I lay on my back, was you trying to get my attention.
You were trying to tell me that you don't belong there.
But no, instead of acknowledging that your arising above the surface was your way of saying shit ain't ohk.
I found it easier to ignore you.

On that day, the 29th of June 2020, denial packed its bags left me on my own to face the facts.
That I had felt you grow inside me, and I watched you grow month by month.
That I had done nothing.
On that day I made a new freind, called fear.

Fear brought a whole entourage of friends. Oh believe me they aren't friendly either. Will tell you about them someday.

For now, I am counting the days until I know and understand who and what you are and what you want me.

The journey of a young woman: Diagnosis, Fibroids.

By Miss King (18/07/2020) 

Winter You Horrible Being

Winter you horrible being. 

You bought with you this horrible sense of taking over everything that is bright and beautiful.

Taking away my once love and passion for this place. 

As the days grew shorter and nights grew longer, so dimed the sparkle in my eyes. 

You came like a black knight ready to slay everything and anything in his path. 

You were clear, take no prisoners and leave no soul alive. 

You left a trail of carnige, self distruction, self doubt and a shit load of self pity. 

Winter you horrible being. 

As I start my next chapter. 

I will carry amazing memories of the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. 

And the sun's beautiful smile as it did its happy dance across the horizon. 

And the stale sulphuric comforting smell of the ocean. 

Winter you horrible being. 

As the chapters become a book.

I will also remember, how your arrival ment it was time for my body to fight itself. 

How antihistamines became my loyal, and ever present best friends. 

You know what? 

It's ohk hey. It is ohk. 

Winter you horrible being. 

You may think you are in charge now, but don't forget...  

Your time is limited, it always is! 

Your days are numbered, they always are!

The days will grow longer, the nights will grow shorter and the sun's happy dance on the horizon will return!

Until then enjoy your victories and enjoy your rule! 

Winter You Horrible Being. 

By Miss Nkosi (18/07/2020)